Masculinity, Part Two (Are women the problem?)

Suzanne Venker, who evidently works for FoxNews, wrote and article recently which was titled, "The War on Men." I could relate to her premise. Among the things she wrote were these gems.

Women aren’t women anymore.

In a nutshell, women are angry. They’re also defensive, though often unknowingly. That’s because they’ve been raised to think of men as the enemy. Armed with this new attitude, women pushed men off their pedestal (women had their own pedestal, but feminists convinced them otherwise) and climbed up to take what they were taught to believe was rightfully theirs.

But what if the dearth of good men, and ongoing battle of the sexes, is – hold on to your seats – women’s fault?

It’s the women who lose. 

Absolutely. Now, I'm not blaming all deficiencies in gender relations on women. But, the discomfort men feel in dealing with women is often caused by the off-putting attitudes of women, many of whom don't realize how they've been affected by the "Sexual Revolution," and radical feminism.

Evidently, not all women have been accepting of Venker's viewpoints on the matter. In a follow-up piece titles "Let's Call a Truce in the War on Men," she indicates that she got quite a load of hate mail for the original essay. She wrote,

I was inundated with emails from women telling me I should be ashamed of myself for suggesting women have a role to play in the decline of marriage and battle of the sexes. One reader even told me to kill myself. No, really. Kill myself.

OK, let's not allow that discussion to derail us from our stated purpose regarding women though. Men need to be men. It would help if women were women, too. Among the many things God's Word has to say about the role of men with regard to women, we find this:  

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. (1 Peter 3:7).

"Weaker vessels"? Yes, that's God's term. It is not intended to be demeaning, but descriptive. Yes, I know that we've all run into (hopefully not literally) some women we would not want to match wits or physical attributes against. That doesn't change the fact that the role relationship between men and women needs to be one of tender care on the part of the men (see also Ephesians 5:22-33).

Bottom line: men need to stand up, stand firm, be Godly, Do yourself and your wife (or intended) a favor. Disabuse yourselves of the unGodly influences of radical feminism. Let the women be women, feminine, frilly, keepers of the home, etc. And YOU, man, be manly. It's OK. God calls us to it.

Masculinity, Part One

Some time ago, I gave a talk in a European country on the topic of masculinity. I described what I see as the problem of radical feminism in the USA, particularly in the churches. During and after that talk several of the men told me that they have the same problem in their country. What’s the problem?

It’s true that men now have problems figuring out their role in society, in the family, and in the church. The obvious place to look for reasons for this problem is to the Women’s Movement, specifically Radical Feminism. Now this does not mean that our society didn’t need change in the area of gender equality. But the radicals of this movement so turned the world upside down that even innocent acts of kindness and courtesy were turned into offenses against women.

Thankfully, at least that extreme seems to have died away in most quarters, but the damage has been done. Men are unsure of themselves. They don’t want to be “Male Chauvinist Pigs;” they need to be sensitive men. There’s nothing wrong with sensitivity unless it wipes out such outstanding male tendencies as protectiveness and provision for their families. I submit that there are simply too many “House Husbands in America.” The major flaw with the most radical of the feminist attacks on men, and society in general, is that it leaves not only bewildered men in its wake, but confused, misled, ill-served women, as well. Consider this telling quote from Harvey Mansfield, a Distinguished Professor of Government at Harvard:

The feminist movement in America began with Betty Friedan's book, The Feminine Mystique (1963). That book is an attack on femininity, not on manliness. It blames men for foisting the feminine mystique on women, for getting them to believe that it is better to seem frail, dumb, and submissive. The implication is that in truth it is better to be strong, smart, and aggressive--like men. The feminists' first complaint against men was that they were Male Chauvinist Pigs. This did not mean that they were messy creatures, but that they were greedy pigs, hogging all the good things in life for themselves. In other words, it's better to be a man. Manly qualities that make one want to be a man are better than womanly qualities that might make one hold back. (From a transcript of a speech given in October, 1997.)

In other words, The Friedan brand of Feminism, rather than building women up, sells them short. But let’s move on to another aspect of this Role Confusion.

American society, as well as several other so-called “advanced societies,” is trying to make itself “gender-neutral.” (see this recent article on neutralizing language). To some people, myself included, this tendency is not neutralizing, but neutering, at great cost to civilization. Again, I quote Mansfield:

Today the very word "manliness" seems quaint and obsolete. We are in the process of making the English language gender neutral, and manliness, the quality of one gender, or rather, of one sex, seems to describe the essence of the enemy we are attacking, the evil we are eradicating. Recently I had a call from the Harvard alumni magazine asking me to comment on a former professor of mine now being honored. Responding too quickly, I said: "What impressed all of us about him was his manliness." There was a silence at the other end of the line, and finally the female voice said: "Could you think of another word?" (Ibid.)

Our frenzy and our fear of masculine domination has taken on such urgency that we even tinker with the words of the Bible to make them more gender neutral – at the cost of accuracy. This is tantamount to having a massive case of agoraphobia. We are so frightened of things that can happen to us when we go out that we miss the wondrous things that may just await us.

NEXT INSTALLMENT: Is there a non-radical feminine understanding of this issue?